Twelve Years
by CIFan812
Summary: The sequal to Love & War. It's been twelve years and Sebastian & Kathryn find their lives in danger. Can they find their way back to each other? What is Kathryn hiding? Will he be able to forgive her when he finds out?
1. Ending Up Here

_**Disclaimer:** Much as I truely wish I did, I don't own Cruel Intentions, or any of the characters originated therein. I'm just borrowing them. No money is being made from this work of fiction._

**Ending Up Here**

"Oh, God," Dana whispered as her face went pale. She was staring at nothing in particular, but her eyes were intense. Sebastian wondered if she was realizing what he was, realizing how Dean Concaid was always a step ahead of them as if he had some sixth sense.

"Why don't I go check out the cars? Make sure no one put a tracking device on any of them," India offered and turned to walk away before she got a response.

What happened next was so quick that it left Sebastian dazed. Dana reached for gun on in her left holster with her right hand, cocking it as she pulled it free. India suddenly had something in her hand and began to turn. Dana was looking at her now and didn't waste time on trying to get a kill shot as she fired three times in quick succession as she moved the gun. The first bullet tore through the smaller woman's thigh and took her right leg from under her and spun her forward. The second slammed into her stomach almost dead center and stopped her forward momentum but she was still making the effort to throw the black object in her hand until the third shot. The third bullet ripped into her chest just to the left, tearing through her heart, and slammed her down on her back. She wasn't dead yet, but she had dropped what looked like thin black jagged edged circular objects. Sebastian wondered absently if those were really martial arts stars.

Dana was already in motion, screaming "move!" as stepped over India, who was gasping out her last breaths. Ten seconds, Sebastian thought numbly as he watched her gasp and spasm. A person could live without their heart beating for approximately ten seconds. Everyone around him started taking cover and someone roughly shoved him behind a car. He tore his eyes off the dying woman and found Dana again, who had pivoted and was already shooting at people who were out of Sebastian's range of vision. She leaped into the air and landed on the hood of a car and slid across it diagonally, all while firing. Someone was firing back, but he heard a few grunts that let him know that she and the others had hit a few of the people shooting at them. She hadn't stopped sliding until she fell over the side of the car and landed roughly on her back. She'd done that so she could keep firing, he realized absently, without paying attention to where she was going. She quickly reloaded as she rolled onto her stomach and began shooting under the car, aiming, Sebastian guessed at the legs of their attackers. The woman was moving with an impossible combination of speed, confidence and skill, making decisions at lightning speed. It was over before he could process it. Dana stood up and casually brushed the broken glass from the shot out car windows off her clothes. Not even sparing a glance at India's body, she looked around.

"Anyone one hit?"

One by one, everyone called out that they were okay.

"Clair, tie up the loose ends," she said quietly and watched as the redhead went to make sure all their attackers were dead, prepared to shoot any who weren't in the head. As he watched the woman move methodically and cold bloodedly, Sebastian couldn't help asking himself if he was going to end up a loose end that needed to be tied. "Fucking psycho," she muttered, "only a fucking psycho would follow you into a damn war zone to try to kill you." Sebastian found himself absently nodding in agreement with her angry pronouncement. Of course, Sebastian thought Dana was a bit psychotic too.

"How'd you know," Sandy asked, clutching her computer like it was a shield as she stared down at the dead body of a woman that she had once called a friend.

Dana smirked humorlessly. "Elementary, my dear Watson."

Sebastian looked around at all the death and destruction surrounding him and wondered, for the hundredth time, how the hell had he ended up here. _Kathryn. I always said she'd be the death of me one day._

* * *

"Hold him down, Kathryn!"

Kathryn looked over at the small blond, shocked by the commanding tone of her voice. "I'm trying! It's not like I'm that fucking big! Son of a bitch is the size of a small elephant."

Annette was trying to pull a bullet out of the man's leg, and he wouldn't stop flailing as Kathryn clutched his leg, nails digging into his skin, trying as best as she could to hold down a man well over twice her size. It wasn't the pain that had him in this state. It was the delirium from the infection caused by having the bullet in his leg for over two days. Right now he seemed to think that he was being eaten alive by army ants.

Annette looked at her apologetically. "I wish he'd just pass out already."

"Why didn't you say so," Kathryn asked as she released the man suddenly and sent an elbow smashing into his temple. He was out like a light. He still muttered and twitched, but it was nothing compared to the full on flailing of a moment ago.

"What the fuck!" Annette looked horrified.

Kathryn blinked at her in surprise. "Did you just _swear_," she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper. Annette Hargrove – Kathryn still thought of her as Hargrove, despite that she'd been married for over ten years – cursing was right up there with Elvis being spotted in an Arby's having lunch with aliens. In all these years, she'd only heard it once… the night that Sebastian had called her Kathryn thirteen years ago.

She merely shrugged as if it were no big deal. "What can I say? You and Sebastian have been a bad influence. How did you do that?"

"Sebastian talked me into taking self-defense when we started college. He was over protective."

"I don't know why," she muttered as she got back to work digging the bullet out. Kathryn didn't bother to ask her for clarification. "Almost there…"

"He's coming to. Want me to hit him again?" She sounded almost hopeful. She needed to take her aggression out on something and ranting at Annette just wasn't doing it for her anymore.

"That… won't… be… necessary," she said as she finally pulled the bullet out and held it up in a bloody grip, a triumphant look in her eyes.

Kathryn didn't care if it was necessary, just if she could get away with it. She didn't vocalize that though, instead she cocked her head and looked at her unlikely friend and ally critically. The small blonde looked like something out of a horror movie. Her hair was messy and tangled, she was covered with blood splatter and her shirt was torn. Not exactly what you'd expect a person who graduated at the top of her class at Johns Hopkins to look like. "You seriously need a bath."

Annette frowned and looked down at herself. "Yeah, I kind of do, don't I? But it's not like you look much better, princess."

Kathryn rolled her eyes and hissed, "don't call me princess. It's _queen_ to you, cherry."

"Well, I'm not a 'cherry,' thanks to..." Gun fire outside cut her off and made them jump. "You think they're coming back," Annette asked, her eyes trained on the door.

"I don't see why not. I don't think Tarzan here is much of a deterrent anymore." She gave the last of the men who were supposed to be guarding them a sour look.

Annette laughed and earned a dirty look from Kathryn. She shook her head at the look. "I don't know why I like you now. I couldn't explain it in a thousand years."

Kathryn cocked her head in surprise. "You _like_ me? Did you get hit on the head?"

Annette shook her head, amused. "I _know_. It's crazy, but it kinda snuck up on me over the past twelve years. It's the damnedest thing."

Kathryn looked away and realized that the feeling was mutual. How the hell had _that_ happened? Maybe it was the twelve years of sharing a secret. "Well, I guess there are worse people I could be trapped in an abandoned building in the middle of a war zone and awaiting imminent death with. Hell, you might even be in my top five. But if you tell anyone I said that, I swear I'll rip out your liver."

Annette laughed and Kathryn smirked. How the hell had they ended up here anyway? _Oh yeah_, she thought sarcastically. _Sebastian, former stepbrother/lover. Of course_.

* * *

_A/N: Hey I'm back! I hope you enjoyed this new beginning. Please let me know what you think... that is assuming that you've forgiven me for the last chapter of_ Love & War_. I hope that soon all will be made clear in regards to why I ended it the way I did._

_Yes, **Kaila**, Sebastian was in shock. He couldn't believe that she could just walk out on him like that. Poor sap._

_Thanks for the **SalvaVeritate**!_

_-Angie_


	2. Twelve Years

**Twelve Years**

_Nine days ago…_

"How does it feel to have three best sellers?"

Sebastian suppressed an eye roll. He couldn't express how tired he was of that question. While he still gave a show every once in a while and sold his photographs though a local gallery, he had long since come to realize that his true calling was writing. He had won a handful of awards over the years for his plays and novels. The plays were critically acclaimed and his personal favorites, but the novels always got the most press. "Wonderful," he said dryly, wishing for this interview to be over so he could just go home. He smiled at the thought of home, lending his sarcastic response a genuine quality he hadn't meant to give it.

The reporter smiled back and leaned forward, showing a bit of cleavage. Sebastian cocked his head and pursed his lips as he spared it a brief glance. She cleared her throat and sat up as if she hadn't been aware of her action. He raised an eyebrow in amusement at her sudden nervousness. "There's been growing speculation in the industry as to why you won't grant movie rights to your books. Would you care to shed a little light on the subject?"

He smiled again, this time because she had finally asked a worthwhile question. "Because when Hollywood gets its hands on a really good book, they usually butcher it. They tend to suck out the soul and leave nothing behind but an empty commercialized husk. I may yet allow movies to be made, but it won't be until the right mix of people are involved. It's not like I need the money, right?"

"I suppose not," she said with a little laugh. "Are you Michael Chase?"

He had been expecting that. People always wondered how real the life of the main character of his novels was, and if he was anything like him. Michael Chase was an anti-hero, a rogue private investigator who spent his time rescuing damsels in distress… when he wasn't screwing them.

"There's a little bit of me in all my characters. Mike's no different. But, no, I'm not him." Sebastian had never been much for indiscriminate rescuing, and it had been a long time since he could be considered a lady's man – over a decade. "And before you ask, my wife is so _not_ Sara Williams." Sara Williams was Mike's Girl Friday and sometimes lover. She was also his protector and door keeper, not to mention equally deadly with her tongue and a twenty two. The one woman that Mike couldn't live without. He chuckled softly, remembering something Kathryn had said years earlier, a lifetime ago. She'd asked if Annette wore his balls around her neck, or just put them in a Dixie cup next to her bed. "My wife is a bit less tolerant then Sara. I could never get away with half of what Mike pulls."

"Would you like to?"

"Honestly? I think that every guy wishes he could sometimes. But realistically, I wouldn't want Mike's life. He gets shot at far too much. And it's often a direct result of the fact that the poor bastard can't keep his pants zipped." He smiled slightly, remembering the time that he'd almost been shot. But then his motives had been much less benign the Mike's usually were. Mike just wanted a piece of tail, not vengeance.

"So you don't share any of your main character's flaws?"

"I didn't say that. Just…" He paused. "I love my wife and kids. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize that."

Suddenly feeling sentimental, he pulled out his wallet and quickly found a small picture. He smiled at it, as he mentally called himself a big pussy, and then handed it to the reporter. "Those are my wife and kids. Two boys and a girl. The smaller ones, Noelle and Raphael, are identical twins. I didn't even know you could have identical twins that were different genders until we had them. It's rare, but it happens occasionally. The oldest one is Michael. Actually Michel, but he says it sounds like a girl's name, so we call him Michael or Mike. I named my main character after him. My father thought it was funny that we gave all the kids French names, since both mine and his are English, after people in his mother's family."

"They're beautiful," she said as she smiled at the picture before handing it back. Sebastian detected a little wistfulness and wondered what had happened in her life that would make her sad to see a picture of his family.

"Thank you." He returned the picture to his wallet. "I would never hurt them. So whenever I feel tempted, or restless, I take out that picture and I remember what it's like to have your world turned upside down. And," he shrugged, "it passes. If Sara ever stopped fighting her feelings for Mike, maybe he'd settle down too."

"Is that ever going to happen?"

He gave a dry chuckle. That depended completely on his stubborn characters. "Who knows? Stranger things have."

* * *

He found his wife in Noelle's room. She was sitting on the side of the bed gently stroking their daughter's little face, speaking to her softly, soothingly as the child fell asleep. He stood there, watching her, in awe. It had been eight years since Mike was born, but he still felt a little surreal watching Kathryn Merteuil – Kathryn _Valmont_, he corrected himself – mothering their children. God knows she didn't come by it naturally, not with the nightmare she had for a mother. She must have felt him watching her because she looked up at him and smiled before turning her attention back to Noelle. Giving the little girl a kiss and pulling the blankets up around her a little more, Kathryn got up and greeted her husband.

"If it's not the conquering hero," she whispered lightly, her eyes dancing with amusement that let him know that she was teasing him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He kissed her lips softly. "Is she feeling better?"

"Yes, but her stomach is still a little achy. The fever hasn't come back, though, and she was able to keep down some soup." She gave Noelle a brief worried glance.

"You're a good mommy," he said as he kissed her neck.

"You're a good daddy," she said as she tried not to laugh as his stubble tickled her. "Even if you have turned into a barbarian who won't shave."

"Bitch," he whispered.

"Bastard," she whispered back.

"Where are the others?"

"With Robin." Robin was the nanny. Usually she was only here while Kathryn was at work, and sometimes until evening, but since Noelle had been sick she'd been staying a bit longer to take some of the pressure off.

"Good." Sebastian picked up his wife, who suppressed a surprised yelp, and carried her to their bedroom.

It had been twelve years, but instead of becoming boring as they secretly feared it would, their lovemaking – as they both thought of it now – had managed to become more interesting. There entire life together had become more interesting. Both the sex and the relationship in general occasionally took work, no doubt about that, but it always paid off. They still played, as Sebastian had once put it, with teeth bared and claws out more than most couples who had been together as long, but there were so many subtexts now. Everything was richer and more meaningful then it had been when they were eighteen and thought they had all the answers. Everything they said, everything they did, held some long cherished memory. They knew each other in a way that you can only know someone after at least a decade, the way neither of them suspected was possible.

"I love you," she said as they undressed. He remembered the first time she'd said it to him. It had been a couple of months before he proposed, and nearly a year before they were married in a private ceremony on their private beach in Maui. Only his parents, her father and stepmother, and Tuttle were in attendance. It had been perfect.

"You'd better, Mrs. Valmont." He admired her body. "You are so beautiful."

"Not anymore. I'm a fucking cow since we had the kids."

"You're _one_ fucking dress size bigger then you were the day we got married. Besides, you were never sexier then when you were pregnant. I like you big as a house." She slapped his chest in mock outrage and he laughed before lowering his head and gently running his tongue along her nipple. "I love everything about your body, baby. You're perfect."

"You've been saying that since we were eighteen."

"It's been true since the moment I met you. I love your body almost as much as I love your devious mind." He backed her up until the backs of her calves were against their bed. He gave her a gentle shove and she fell back against it, laughing. Grinning broadly at her, he knelt between her legs slid her knees over his shoulder. "Especially this part of your body," he said as he spread her lips and expertly flicked his tongue across her clit, sending shock waves through her. "I've been thinking about it all day."

His wife laughed. "You still talk more than a fucking teenaged girl, Valmont. Just shut up and eat me."

"And you're still an impatient little slut, aren't you Kitty Kat? I've been trying to teach you patience for the past twelve years…"

* * *

They lay next to each other, sweaty and tired. Sebastian had one arm around his wife's shoulders, cradling her head in the crook of his elbow, and the fingers of the other rubbed her engagement ring absently. He couldn't believe that they had been together for nearly twelve years. Next week was their tenth wedding anniversary, and there was predictably a big party being planned. They were, after all, New York royalty. They had compromised, spending half their time in New York and the other half in Maui, which was like their second home now. Life had been full of such compromises for the past twelve years, and Sebastian wouldn't have had it any other way.

They traveled two or three times a year, but unlike their parents, they usually took their kids with them unless they needed extra 'alone time.' He looked over at Kathryn. She had drifted off to sleep. She needed it. She went in to work every day, except for when someone was really sick, like when Noelle had the fever, and came home and dealt with the kids. It had been Kathryn who usually sat up with their children when they couldn't sleep at night. He helped, but Kathryn always said that he was like her fourth child. That was probably because he helped them play practical jokes on her, he thought with a smirk. He did keep them entertained, reading to them and regaling them for hours with stories from mythology. He had even made up a story for Noelle, who was a complete Daddy's girl, which he was in the process of writing down for her. Who knows? Maybe he'd publish it one day. How ironic was it that Sebastian Valmont was writing a children's book?

He slipped out of bed quietly, careful not to wake Kathryn, and went to shower and dress. He checked on her one last time before leaving the bedroom. He stopped by Noelle's room first. The child had a virus that the doctors had said needed to run its course. He had been every bit as worried about her as Kathryn, even though he didn't show it. The years may have changed many things but Sebastian still had his game face and he felt he needed to be strong and positive for Kathryn. Even though he knew she didn't need it, had never needed it, he still felt the need to protect her. His daughter looked like a china doll laying there, a miniature of her mother. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"You know you have turned your Daddy into the world's biggest chump, don't you," he whispered as he brushed back a strand of her hair. Sebastian was a man of many passions, but the number of people that he had ever cared deeply for one way or the other was small – could probably be counted on one hand before they'd had the kids. He had been unprepared for how much he loved his boys, never quit understanding why his father would sacrifice so much for him until the moment he saw Michel and knew without a doubt that he would die for the boy. But Noelle was in a class all by herself, just like her mother… she had him wrapped around her tiny little finger the moment he held her in his arms at the hospital. He watched her sleep for a few more minutes, remembering how he had watched her mother years before. Finally, he got up and quietly left the room.

He went to find Robin and the boys. They were in the game room. Raphael rushed to his father when he saw him and jumped into his arms. Mike was more subdued, being too 'mature' now to do the same thing. If this was how the boy was now, Sebastian was positively dreading his teen years.

"Hi, Dad," the older boy said.

"Hello, Mike," Sebastian returned as he pulled his first born against him briefly and ruffled his curly sandy brown hair. Mike would have been an exact replica of Sebastian if his hair had been dark blond rather than light brown, while Raphael was a male version of Noelle and Kathryn with straight dark brown hair and big green eyes. Despite that generalization, he did notice some of himself in Noelle and Raphael… an expression, a set of the jaw, a glint in their eyes. Just like he saw Kathryn in Mike. He sat his youngest son down and turned to Robin. "They haven't been running you ragged, have they?"

She laughed softly. "No, Mr. Valmont. They've been perfect gentlemen."

Sebastian laughed. "They're my sons. Somehow, I find that difficult to believe." He looked at them with playful suspicion. "They must be up to something."

Raphe giggled, and Mike laughed – because he was too old for giggling, after all. "We're not, 

Daddy," Raphe protested. "Mommy said that if we misbehave we can't go to Aunt Cameron's."

Suddenly it all made sense. The kids adored their aunt and uncle, and they were due to go spend the weekend with at Cameron's new home in Malibu. The younger Merteuil had been married for two years, and she'd been traveling every since. Last week she called her sister and said she missed her little monkeys (her pet name for the kids) and wanted to know if they could pay her a visit. Noelle obviously couldn't, a fact that had caused much pouting and many tears both from her and Raphe, who was totally devoted to his twin though not enough to make him turn down the opportunity.

_

* * *

_

Twelve years earlier…

He nearly ran over Kathryn's maid, Mai-Lee, as he stormed out of Kathryn's room on his way to see Tuttle. First he'd get him to find out where Kathryn went – if he didn't already know – and then he'd kill him. Slowly and painfully. Simple.

"Mr. Sebastian!"

"Excuse me," he said, barely slowing his pace as he circumvented her. He thought it was odd that Kathryn hadn't taken Mai-Lee with her and briefly considered trying to get some information from her… but Mai-Lee knew Kathryn well enough to be more afraid of her then she would ever be of him. Sebastian knew this already, he'd tried getting information out of her before.

"Have message for you!"

"Have no time for message!" Unlike Kathryn, Sebastian didn't know Vietnamese so he had to settle for Mai-Lee's halting English.

"Ms. Kathryn say haul ass or miss plane," she called after him frantically.

He stopped half way down the stairs and turned to look at her. The small woman almost collided with him. She stood there, trying to catch her breath. He actually did like Mai-Lee, even though he enjoyed occasionally mocking the horrible things she did to the English language. Mai-Lee was always kind to him, almost motherly… although he doubted she would have been had she ever suspected the things he'd done with her fifteen year old daughter. Actually, the girl had to be almost seventeen now. "Excuse me?"

"She wait for you, in limo out front. She say tell asshole she pack for him clothes already," she said, flustered. Her English always got worse when she was flustered.

He closed his eyes and laughed. "That evil bitch," he murmured fondly.

Mai-Lee merely smiled benignly, having long since gotten used to their vulgarity. She also probably agreed, though Mai-Lee was no saint herself, occasionally having been one of Kathryn's agents of destruction over the years.

He found her in the limo, legs crossed, drinking Champaign and smiling happily. "Took you long enough to get here," she said, as if nothing had happened. "Thought you'd follow me… like always."

He got in and scowled at her. "That was completely fucked up," he said once the driver closed the door. The fact that she'd been counting on him to follow her made his shame at his momentary paralysis, at his fucking inability to think straight much less _move_ and chase after her immediately, disappear.

"Oh, stop being such a little bitch," she purred as she put the Champaign glass down and crawled cat-like across the seat towards him. He smiled despite himself. He had deserved what she'd done and worse. Besides, she was so damn sexy. Why waste energy on being angry when there were so many better things to do with it? Hadn't he wanted to come with her anyway? His smile widened almost imperceptibly at the double meaning that thought could have. She draped herself across his lap and began licking his jaw and teasing his ear with her tongue. "Truce," she whispered, her breath over his wet skin sending a shiver down his spine. He looked into her eyes, and saw the vulnerability there. He knew that she loved him. He still wanted to hear her say it, but he knew that she couldn't. Not yet. Maybe someday soon. Maybe hell wasn't that far from freezing over.

"Truce," he said as he stroked her cheek. "Now where are you taking me?"

"Bora Bora. I rented a little bungalow out on the water. It's literally in the ocean and utterly divine. We have it, and each other, all to ourselves for a week."

"A week," he said with a smirk as he pulled her completely onto his lap. "Is that all I get?"

"No," she said with a smile as she ran her fingers through his hair. "You get much more than that, Valmont. So very much more than that. So long as you realize that if you ever do anything like that again, I _will_ fucking leave you." He looked into her eyes and saw that she was utterly sincere. He smiled at her warmly and pulled her into a kiss.

_A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcome!_

_**kerimack**, I promise all will be revealed. A little in each chapter about what happened, who those new people are in the first chapter (and how they facter into what happend 12 years ago when L&W ended) and how in the hell Kathryn and Sebastian ended up in a war zone._

_-Angie_


	3. Lost Baggage

**Lost Baggage**

_Six days ago…_

"Annette! What the holy hell are you doing here?"

Annette jumped. She knew that voice. Sebastian Valmont was the last person that she wanted to run into, especially here at this moment. She turned to see him smiling brightly at her and her knees went weak. Twelve years and he still made her weak in the knees. He was every bit as beautiful as she remembered, maybe even more. She had forgotten… forgotten to call Kathryn when she booked the flight to come see her ailing father. How could she have forgotten that? And what were the odds, really, of running into Sebastian at the airport the first time in twelve years that she forgot to check with Kathryn? "I could ask you the same question."

"I'm picking up the kids. Kathryn and I have three, can you believe it? I still can't sometimes."

"Yeah I heard. You're sort of famous. What I can't believe is that you convinced Kathryn to have three."

He laughed softly. "Believe it or not, it was her idea. Not that she had to do too much convincing, but it took me a while to get over the shock."

"I'll bet," Ann answered. She would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that conversation and wondered how long Kathryn had waited to bring that up. Was it guilt, or was it the desire to make sure that Sebastian didn't leave her that had driven her to it? Ann doubted that it had been an honest desire to have his children, no matter how much the other woman may have come to love them once she'd had them.

Sebastian frowned slightly, but didn't ask for clarification. He probably thought that she was referring to it taking him a while to get over the shock of Kathryn suggesting that they have kids. "So, you're here visiting your father?"

"He's sick. In fact, we should be going."

"'We'?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm married," she held up her left hand, revealing a reasonably respectable engagement ring and a plain silver wedding band. "With kids."

Sebastian gave her one of his rare genuine smiles. "Good for you, Ann."

"Thank you," she murmured as she tried to make as graceful a hasty retreat as possible.

"Daddy!" She turned towards the source of the sound. It was Rafe, followed by Mike. No… no. 

This cannot be happening!

"Looks like you're about to be busy," she said hastily, hoping the children didn't notice her. "I'll get out of your hair."

Sebastian grabbed her arm and she felt his touch in the pit of her stomach. She cursed him silently. When was she ever going to get over him? "No… you have to meet the kids. And I'd like to meet your husband and children, if they're around. Just because we didn't work out doesn't mean we can't be civil. It's been nearly thirteen years since we went our separate ways."

Meanwhile the kids had arrived, Rafe grabbing onto his father's leg and Mike openly staring at her. "Hi Daddy!"

"Hey little man," Sebastian said happily as he scooped up his youngest son. "I missed the two of you. Things have been far too quiet at home."

"Hi Dad. Hi Aunt Ann." Mike said innocently. _And there it is_, Ann thought as she felt herself flush.

Sebastian, who never seemed to miss anything, ever, froze for an instant as he blinked at his oldest son. "You know her already?"

Mike nodded. "Mom takes us to see her sometimes, so we can play with Kevin and Sara."

Sebastian looked up at Ann, confusion clear on his face. She knew he was waiting for an explanation, but she wasn't as good at Kathryn at making things up on the fly. Besides, she had always been a terrible liar. Just as she was about to give it the old college try anyway, Kevin appeared, Sara in his wake.

"Hey mom, can we get some pizza?" She could feel him looking up at her with his hopeful big blues eyes. But she couldn't tear her eyes away from Sebastian's stunned expression. She knew he was taking in the curly dark blond hair, the pink pouty lips, the perfect eyebrows. Kevin looked exactly like him. He even had wire rimmed glasses. "Oh, hey Mike. What are you guys doing here?"

She held out her hands defensively. "Sebastian-"

"How old is he?" He cut her off, his voice had this cold, calm quality to it and she knew instinctively that was a very bad thing.

She sighed in resignation. "Twelve."

Without another word, he put down his youngest son and took out his wallet. "Mike, take this and share it with Kevin and Sara. Get some pizza and sodas. Whatever else any of you want. 

And stay together." He handed his son a two twenties.

Ordinarily, Ann would have been angry with Sebastian for his presumption, but she was well aware of how hypocritical it would seem right now. Instead, she suddenly realized how fascinating her cuticles were as the children happily went off together to get their pizza. She really needed a manicure.

"So, you want to explain this to me?" His voice was still that cold, quiet calm. Didn't they say that it was calm and quiet like that in the center of a hurricane? She knew it was coming, but her stomach still clinched at the question. She dropped her hands and slowly looked up to meet his burning gaze.

* * *

Kathryn was double checking the preparations for the tenth wedding anniversary party she and Sebastian were having in two days when her private line rang. She scowled at it in annoyance and almost didn't answer, but it might be Sebastian or one of the boys. She sighed in resignation as she picked up the handset.

"Hello?"

"He knows," a familiar voice hissed. Kathryn felt her stomach clinch in terror.

"How the hell… Annette, that damn well better not mean what I think it does."

"Sebastian ran into us at the airport… the kids told him that you brought them to see us, and then he saw Kevin."

Kathryn sat down heavily, feeling like her insides had been replaced with a block of ice. "What the _fuck_ were you doing out here without checking with me?"

"My father's ill. It's serious. I wasn't thinking."

"Damn it Annette, you swore to me!" She wiped absently at an escaped tear or two.

"I think right now you need to be more concerned about what you're going to tell your husband when he gets home. He's on his way, and he is livid."

"No shit!" She slammed the phone down so hard that she was shocked it didn't break. She wanted it to. Breaking something would probably make her feel marginally better, more in control. Yeah, right. Why the hell had she done it? Why had she ever made that damned agreement with Annette in the first place?

_

* * *

_

Twelve years ago…

She almost kept going. Why hadn't she kept going? It was the curiosity, Kathryn realized. One didn't see Annette Hargrove pregnant – very pregnant – and doubled over in pain on a fucking side street every day. Doing a quick calculation in her head she realized that Dorothy couldn't be having Sebastian's baby because she'd have to be about twelve months pregnant. If Sebastian had been telling her the truth. She'd had the driver double park right next to Kansas and got out.

"What the hell's wrong with you?"

Annette's head snapped up with what looked like surprise and maybe a little fear. Kathryn liked being looked at with fear, especially by someone like Annette. "Kathryn? What are you doing here?"

"I was…" she stopped herself, realizing that she was about to explain herself to this self-righteous little twit. "I was on my way somewhere."

Annette winced and the look in her eyes took on a definite pleading quality. Kathryn noticed that there was sweat beading on her brow. "I'm in labor. I think. Can you help me?"

"What do you mean you think? Can't you tell?"

Annette smiled slightly. "Not always that easy to tell, especially with your first."

Kathryn sighed. "Get in the limo. So is Bobby the lucky guy," she asked sarcastically after Annette finally managed to get inside the limo and she slid in after her.

"No," Annette gritted out through clinched teeth and then looked as if she'd said something she hadn't meant to.

"Anyone I know?"

Annette tensed even more then she was already and looked away. "No."

Kathryn narrowed her eyes at her. Something didn't feel right about that answer. "You're a terrible liar.

Annette flinched and the fear was back in her eyes. Why would she lie, be afraid to tell the truth. Kathryn felt a cold realization spread through her. "It's Sebastian, isn't it?"

"Why would you think that?" An evasion was just as good as an affirmation. Kathryn felt like she couldn't breathe. She looked down at the floor, waiting for the world to stop spinning. "Kathryn," the other woman's concerned voice cut through her panic.

"Have the two of you been together this entire time?" Annette stared at her, looking horrified at the suggestion. "Answer me!" Kathryn was screaming, her voice angry and dangerous, making Annette jump.

"No… he doesn't even know."

"What do you mean he doesn't know?"

"I never told him. And I don't plan on ever telling him."

"You can't honestly be serious!"

"I'd think you'd be in total agreement. We'd both get what we want. You get me out of your life for good, and I get you and Sebastian out of mine for good."

"You don't want him?"

Annette was quiet for a moment. "I don't think I'll ever stop wanting him. But… he's not good for me. And I don't want my son growing up thinking that the things you do are okay. Because it's not okay to hurt people just because you can, and it's even less okay to think it's some sort of game. A form of entertainment that gets you all hot and bothered."

"That's what that thing at graduation was about, wasn't it? Trying to see if he had any remorse over what he'd done to that little bitch."

Annette looked away again, her brow was still creased with pain and she was sweating, but there was a different type of pain in her eyes right now. "I loved him so much. I thought if he could let you go, get you out of his system then I'd have a chance. But it wasn't really you. It was him. He… loved you because you were the only type of woman he ever really could love."

"Somehow that doesn't feel like a compliment."

Annette shrugged. "It's not."

Kathryn smirked. Annette wasn't afraid of her. She was afraid that she might tell Sebastian about the baby and ruin her plan to keep the brat all to herself and raise him to be a self-important, holier-than-thou clone. Just what the world needed… an Annette clone.

* * *

_Six days ago…_

Sebastian walked into the home he'd shared with his wife since shortly after their marriage. It all felt like a lie now. A fucking cruel lie. He heard her heels on the marble floor and watched as his wife appeared from the hall and approached him.

"Warned by your co-conspirator, I see," he said coldly.

She paused, had the good grace to flush a little. "Sebastian, it's not what you think."

"So you and Annette didn't conspire to keep a child that she and I conceived together a secret from me for the past twelve years?" He raised an eyebrow as he glared at his wife. Usually she was irresistibly sexy to him no matter what mood either of them was in and it made it unbelievably hard for him to hold on to any level of animosity towards her for any length of time. It almost didn't matter what she said or did, he found himself in a constant state of wanting to jump her bones. But he wasn't having that problem tonight. In fact he was feeling downright resentful of how sexy she was; as if it was all part of some evil plan she had to keep him right where she wanted him.

She sighed. "Where are the boys?"

"In the park. I didn't think that they should be here for this." There was a tense silence. "So are you going to enlighten me, Kathryn?"

He saw her flinch at the way he bit out her name and felt nothing but the hope that it had hurt. There it was, that desire to hurt her that had been absent for the past thirteen years. He wasn't sure how happy he was to have it back. "It was stupid and I wish I'd never agreed to it."

"Is that it? Is that your brilliant defense? I must say, you are definitely slipping baby."

"I thought you'd leave me…"

"You had that little faith in me?"

"You'd already left me, Sebastian. For _her_."

"And I came _back_!" He yelled at her, it was more of a roar really, and his voice echoed against the marble of the foyer.

"But you left. Do you remember how cruel you were to me? How you so casually reminded me that nobody gave a damn about me, that everyone always left me, with those fucking tears on your face that 

you didn't even bother to try to hide? All the while expecting me to lie on my back and spread my legs for you. What you could do once you could easily do again. Now there was suddenly a baby in the equation. Your son. How could I ever compete with that?"

"You didn't have to compete, damn it!" He was still yelling, but not as much from anger as before. He was hurt, and more than a little guilty. He hadn't thought of that day in years, and he had been happy to forget it. What he'd done to Kathryn had been cruel. Even crueler then what she had meant to do to him. All she had tried to engineer was a beating. And he had deserved it. He had said horrible things to her, things that you should never say to someone that you were supposed to love. Predictably she had lashed out at him because that's what they did. It was instinctive. But still… to hide something like this from him. "What I did was fucked up. I deserved everything you dished out and more for hurting you like that. But how could you hide my own son from me?"

"It's what Annette wanted," she offered weakly.

He snorted. "And since when do you do what other people want? Especially Annette? Our kids knew," he said matter-of-factly. "You've been setting up play dates behind my back!"

"The kids didn't know the specifics. Just that Kevin was a relative."

"Well, thank god for small favors! But you told them not to tell me didn't you? You had to have. They would have let something slip by now if you hadn't." He was met by silence that he took as affirmation. His anger flared all over again and he pushed her against the wall, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her arms. "Is that why you wanted the kids? Was it just to have a replacement for Kevin? A reason for me to stay with you in case I ever found out?"

"I love our children!" An evasion. He felt another illusion shatter. He had been so happy the day that she brought up having kids. Not because he wanted children, which he did by that time, but because _she_ wanted them. Because that meant that she was really committed to him, that she loved him enough to face her fears of becoming her mother. But now he was faced with the realization that that had been yet another lie.

His fingers dug harder into her arms. "I can't believe you did this! I always knew you were a fucking evil bitch, but somehow this just took me by surprise. I guess I just got caught up in the illusion that I actually mattered to you."

"I loved you-"

"Don't! It's been over twelve years! You've been hiding it from me for over twelve fucking years, Kathryn! It's not like you couldn't find me all that time. And you really expect me to believe that you loved me? Or am I supposed to believe that you lied because you loved me?"

He took a shuddering breath as he felt her shift against the erection he didn't even realize he had. _Traitor_, he silently hissed at his hardening cock. He practically saw the light bulb go off in her head. They were still fucked up in many ways dispite being 'responsible adults,' still got turned on by the most unlikely things imaginable. She shifted again, so she could grind herself against him. "Come on baby, don't be angry," she said, her voice soft and seductive.

He let her go and backed away. His body might be reacting to her, but the rest of him wasn't. Sex had stopped being purely physical between them a long time ago, if it ever had been at all. "I'm not that same horny 18 year old boy you used to be able to control by offering up your cunt." His voice was cold and filled with contempt.

She clinched her fists and he wondered if she were going to hit him. She'd only ever hit him once, and that was years ago. "I wasn't the one who fucking started this shit! Why the hell am I the one getting all the blame?"

"Because I chose you." His voice quivered slightly and he hated himself for being so weak. He had never been this vulnerable to anyone, not since he thought his mother had died. He love his mother, but he wasn't vulnerable to her anymore. Mainly because he already knew what it would feel like for her to die and he didn't want to ever suffer through that again. Part of him knew it was inevitable, but he couldn't help himself. But Kathryn, damn it, he'd just given her every fucking thing he had. Right on a silver platter, never mind that he knew what she was, what she could do to him with all that trust he put in her.

"Oh, stop being such a fucking queer, Sebastian!"

Her harsh response snapped him out of his pain momentarily and gave him the strength to shut her out. "You fucking deprived me of my own kid! You manipulated my entire fucking life!"

"Well, shit Valmont! If I thought you were going to start lactating at the thought of becoming a father at 18 maybe I would have handled things differently-"

"My god, are you really that fucking clueless? This isn't about missing out on shopping for cribs! Don't you think that I should have at least been included in the decision?"

"It was never your decision to make!" He caught the quiver in her voice and wanted to believe that she was just afraid, just trying to protect herself the way she always did. For a brief moment, he thought about breaking through her walls. He always could, but then he wondered if any of that had been real. If she had hidden this from him, what else didn't he know about? What else was she keeping from him? He stared at her silently, wondering if he'd ever really known her. If their entire life together had been one big lie. His eyes dropped to her wedding ring. "Just like fucking Tiffany and Aramis. Was anything ever my decision," he finally asked softly. Maybe he had gotten to marry her, but did that really mean that she was less in control of him then her mother had been of his cousin? "Was I just a well trained pet after all? A fucking toy?"

He watched as she clinched her jaw, her lips quivering almost imperceptibly. Was she hurt because she was losing control, or because she was afraid she was losing him? Was there any such distinction in her mind? They both jumped as they heard a noise and the sound of their sons' laughter coming from the other side of the house. Robin must have brought them in through the back to get them cleaned up a little. Knowing his sons, they must have found a nice puddle or two while they were in the park. Unlike Sebastian, they didn't hate getting dirty and if there was a puddle to be found, they would find it. He wondered absently if Kevin shared his aversion for getting dirty.

"They're back, Sebastian. They can hear us now. Can we just… not do this right this instant?"

He nodded slowly and lowered his voice so that only she could hear it. "You're right. You're always so _right_. Why do I even delude myself that I make any of my own fucking decisions whenever you're involved? I should know better, shouldn't I? You _always_ have to be in control one way or another." He grabbed his jacket and walked out.

"What about dinner," she called after him, but he ignored her and kept going, closing the door. He heard something shatter against the door as the door itself shuttered and wondered what she'd thrown at him this time.

* * *

He didn't know where he was going until he ended up at their old townhouse. His parents still lived there when they were in New York, which they often weren't. Right now they were in California because the dry heat was better for his mother's health. They would be flying in for the anniversary party in two days, and then leaving again a couple of days later. He let himself in and ended up in Kathryn's old room. Surprisingly, nothing had changed. Maybe it wasn't so surprising. Nothing ever really got over Kathryn. Not even her old room. He wondered around it morosely for a few minutes before going to the wet bar and returning with a bottle of vodka. He was planning on getting completely shit faced and there wasn't any sense in pussyfooting around about it. He knew he had to deal with what had happened, with having another son he never knew about, but not right now. Right now he just wanted to forget. Try to anesthetize this hollow fucking _ache_ in his chest that made him feel like his heart was quite possibly missing.

_

* * *

_

A/N: I'm so sorry for confusing you all with the time line! The events of

Ending Up Here_ (chapter 1) are considered current. So any time references are relative to that. _Nine days ago_ means nine days __**before **_Ending Up Here_. _Ending Up Here_ is twelve years after all the events of _Love & War_, with the exception of the flash forward scene at the end._


	4. Tin

**Tin**

_Four days ago…_

Kathryn clenched her fists so tightly that she felt her perfectly manicured fingernails digging into the soft skin of her palms. "What are you doing here?"

Here was the hallway just outside Noelle's room. Sebastian shrugged casually, looking impossibly handsome in his tux. He looked the same as he did at eighteen in many ways, except his shoulders were broader and his chest deeper. He was still beautiful but in a slightly more masculine way. Years of monogamy hadn't robbed him of that look he'd always had about him that promised the kind of sex that would leave you satisfied and feeling more than slightly dirty – the good kind of dirty. As much as she wanted to be, Kathryn wasn't immune to him. If anything, she had become hopelessly attached to him over the years. She was like Pavlov's fucking dogs… her body simply reacted of its own accord to a certain tone of his voice, a particular look in those piercing blue eyes, a touch of those skillful hands. Her heart fluttered annoyingly in her chest as she followed him to their bedroom. They shouldn't have this conversation where the kids might overhear anyway. Once they were inside and the door safely closed, she crossed her arms defensively as if to physically shield herself from his charm as she waited for him to answer.

"It's our tenth anniversary. I thought I should be here."

Kathryn clinched her jaw hard enough to make it ache. Sebastian could be the most infuriating man in the world when he wanted to. And that was saying one hell of a lot. "Why? You're leaving me. Besides I had Mai-Lee call all the guests and cancel."

"As I guessed you would. I stopped her just in time. And I never said I was leaving you."

She was annoyed that he was telling her personal maid what to do. Why the hell was Mai-Lee even listening to him? Had the past twelve years made her so soft that the woman thought nothing of disobeying her? "You stormed out two days ago and have been refusing to take my calls since. It was sort of implied."

"Twelve years ago, it was impossible for me to walk away from you. Do you really think that ten years of marriage and three kids would make it easier?"

"Does that mean you can forgive me?"

"I don't know." He held his hands out to the side in appealingly, _that look_ in his eyes. That look that pleaded with her to understand, not to be angry with him. She supposed she should be happy that he still hated making her angry.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here, Sebastian?"

"I need to try. I owe you that much, I owe our kids that much."

"Don't do me any favors, Valmont."

"Don't flatter yourself, baby. I'm not being totally selfless here. I've loved you for half my life, slept next to you almost every night for the past twelve years, and even before that was never further from you then across the hall on most nights. I _missed_ you."

"Where you with someone else while you were 'missing' me?" He blinked at her unable to answer. "Fuck, Valmont! You couldn't go two damn nights?"

"Nothing happened! I almost… I couldn't do it, okay? For the past twelve years, I've been drilling the concept of monogamy into my head, and I realize that I can't just piss it away because I'm angry with you. So I spent the last two days and nights alone, piss drunk, and woke up both mornings confused because it took me a few seconds to remember why you weren't next to me." He sighed in frustration and touched her arm. She wanted to pull away, but she couldn't. "If you toss me out now, you'll be kicking yourself in the morning over all the gossip that my absence will cause. We'll get through tonight and then we'll talk."

He was right. She hated it when he was right. "What is there to talk about? You either forgive me or you don't."

"Don't I get time to adjust to this? I need to figure out what happens now, and I'd like to do that with my wife, if it's okay with you."

* * *

Kathryn was in a foul mood as she dressed for the party. Tin… what kind of decent gift could you get someone that was made of tin? And why would you use that as an anniversary theme? Especially a big one like the tenth anniversary. Yes, it wasn't one of those life-long numbers like fifty, but a decade together should still be a landmark. _Especially if that's as far as some people ever got_, she thought with a pang. She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror as Mai-Lee carefully coifed her hair. It wasn't tin that was bothering her. Not really. It was the fear that she had made the wrong decision all those years ago when she ran into Annette. And the very real possibility of that decision making this her last anniversary. She had worked so hard to make sure her children's life was everything that hers hadn't been and now the past had blown up in her face and they may grow up in a broken family. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. She wasn't going to panic. She couldn't panic. She _wouldn't_ panic.

She found Sebastian waiting for her at the top of the stairs. He smiled at the sight of her. "You look beautiful," he whispered in her ear.

His warm breath on her ear sent a shiver down her spine, but she steeled herself against him. 

She couldn't let herself feel, not now, not when he might still walk out on her and take her heart with him. She smirked. "I know."

He held out his arm for her and she took it. They descended the stairs together and, for the first time ever, their happiness was an act.

* * *

In the middle of smoozing with a Senator and his wife, Kathryn felt soft hands on her elbow and turned to find Blaine Tuttle standing behind her. Of the hundreds of people in her ballroom right now, he was the last person she wanted to talk to because he was the only one capable of picking up on the tension between her and Sebastian.

"What's going on, princess," he asked suspiciously as he pulled her into a secluded corner, his voice pitched low.

She sighed. She really wasn't up for this. "You were right, okay," she hissed softly, so no one would overhear.

"Right?"

"Twelve years ago? He knows. And he's pissed as hell."

He frowned at her. "When?"

"Two days ago. He left and only came back today. Says he's not going to leave and he's going to 'try' to forgive me. Bastard."

"Princess," he said patiently, "you knew how he'd react as well as I did. Why didn't you call me?"

She smirked. "Do you have to know everything that happens between us? Would you also like to know how many times a week we fuck?"

"You just didn't want to have to admit that I was right," he said with a knowing grin that was gone almost as soon as it appeared. "He doesn't know… that _I_ know, does he?"

She rolled her eyes. "You should know by now that I would never rat you out. Besides, you're still breathing, aren't you?"

He smiled again. "I suppose so. Hang in there princess. He's here, he came _back_. That means something. He'll come around."

"He's just here for the anniversary. So there'll be no talk."

"And he's doing that for you. You know that he doesn't give a flying fuck what these people think. He's only here for you."

Kathryn pursed her lips. She knew that was true, but she didn't want to let herself hope. "That doesn't mean he'll forgive me, does it?"

* * *

All the guests had left and Kathryn found herself alone with the one person that she didn't want to be alone with – her husband. Jenson was around here somewhere, having decided to stay for a few days, and she debating going to find him when Sebastian handed her his gift. She stared at the artfully wrapped box in her hand. It was thin and rectangular, like a picture or a plaque. She picked it up. It wasn't really heavy, but it was solid.

"I wrapped it myself," she turned to see Sebastian smiling innocently at her and laughed despite herself. An innocent look on Sebastian's face always meant trouble.

"Valmont, you couldn't wrap a present correctly if your life depended on it."

He gave her his real smile this time and made that dismissive waving motion with his hand that he was prone to. "Okay, so I paid someone to wrap it. But I wrote it."

"Wrote it?"

"Kathryn," he said, drawing out her name in a tone that was somewhere between exasperation and amusement, "just open it and see."

She pursed her lips and opened the present. Inside, incased in Lucite, was a thin sheet of tin with lettering engraved on it. It was beautiful in its simplicity.

_Before I loved you I did not believe in eternity,_

_But since I have loved you I cannot believe in death._

_My love for you will never end. It will live on_

_Long after my body dies and my bones are dust._

_Always,_

_Sebastian_

Kathryn bit the inside of her lip as she traced the clear plastic over the letters. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Had he given her this just to show her how much she had fucked up, how much she had lost? "Sebastian…"

"I still mean it, Kathryn." His voice was soft and made her ache. She didn't look up at him. She couldn't.

"Did you mean it when you left me?" She felt hope fluttering painfully in her chest. Fucking hope. She wished she could get rid of it somehow. Cut it out. It made everything so much harder and hurt so much more.

"I was angry with you. Don't tell me I didn't have the right to be angry. You wouldn't have hid it from me for so long if you didn't realize just how fucking pissed I would be when I found out.

"I knew you'd leave."

"But I came back. I couldn't even stay gone for more than two days."

"You came back for the party."

"Like I ever gave a damn about what these petty, close minded people think. I came back for you," he said, echoing Blaine's words. She knew that was true.

"You're really staying?"

"Yes. I don't care if you call me a fucking pussy. I don't care if you use it mercilessly to your advantage, but I'm just as incapable of walking away from you now as I ever have been. Even less now. When we were kids, I used to think that it was impossible for me to love you more, but what I felt for you then was nothing compared to what I feel for you right this moment. You've given me a life, children. I simply can't live without you."

"You're not angry with me anymore," she asked challengingly, knowing the answer.

"Of course I am. If I'd hid something this important from you for that long, I'd be hanging from the ceiling by my balls. Remember what you did to me over the whole seduction thing?"

"Pretending to leave you?"

"No… digging your fucking _heel_ into my nuts! They were sore for damn near two days! I started to think you'd ruptured something."

"You deserved it," she said with a small petulant smile.

"Yes, I did. What do you deserve Kathryn?"

She stared at him for a long moment. "For you to leave and not come back."

"Yeah, well, unfortunately I fucking love you. So that's not an option."

"Chump," she said just barely above a whisper, blinking away tears and wishing that her voice didn't break like that.

"Yes, I think it was established a long time ago that I'm the chump in this relationship."

"You're not the only one. I… I never would have let you off so easy when I found out about Annette if I hadn't already gone soft…"

"Or maybe you were just brave. Trust is a damn scary thing. All I'm asking is that you give me a chance to be brave this time. We can get through this just like we got through everything else." He bent over and kissed her lips, his tongue brushing along them teasingly.

"What are you doing?"

"Hitting on my wife," he murmured softly as he began trailing kisses along her neck. "Got a problem with that?"

Her mind was beginning to cloud over and it took all her will power to push him away. "Why?"

He frowned at her as he kneeled between her legs, his hands pulling up her dress and began running along her exposed thighs. "I don't know. I think it has something to do with the fact that she's hotter than hell and I just really _need_ to be inside her." He slid his hands between her ass and the chair and easily lifted her up enough to slide into the chair underneath her. "I want to fuck her so hard she forgets her damn name."

She bit back a moan that threatened to escape her mouth as he pressed his erection against her cunt. His fingers dug into her thighs as he pulled her tightly against him, his breath hot and humid on her throat as he bit and licked the skin there. "This is what you do to me," he said, his voice husky and sounding like sex. "You can make me hard as a rock with a fucking glance."

He slid his hands underneath her panties and lightly traced her labia with his thumbs. She groaned and leaned back against the chair. "So wet and hot," he said as he pushed his thumbs inside her slowly, kissing and licking at her exposed cleavage.

Kathryn groaned and threw her head back. "Fuck me, Sebastian."

"Not yet. I want to play with my Kitty Kat first." He pulled his thumbs out of her.

"Fucking tease," she complained as she watched him lick her juices off one thumb while running the other over her lips.

"Not teasing, baby. I just don't want to rush things." He pulled her against him and unzipped her dress, pulling it down to expose her bra as he drew her earlobe into his mouth with his tongue and tugged on it with his teeth.

She ran her fingers through his hair, rubbing his scalp with her finger tips. He unhooked her bra and began sucking and biting her nipples as he slipped his thumbs inside her again. She was aching for him. "Sebastian! Now!" She demanded and he looked up at her with a small, amused smile as he pulled away from her enough to allow her to get his pants unzipped and free his erection. She stroked him as she stared into his eyes for a moment before he pulled her hand away and began rubbing her wet, warm opening with the head of his cock. His free hand held her tightly, keeping her from pushing forward on him as he teased her. She made a strangled, frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "Bastard!"

"Bitch," he said lightly. He watched her face as he suddenly slid inside her with no warning, slamming his length her hard and fast. He didn't pause, didn't give her a moment to adjust to having him inside her again. He simply dropped his head so that his face was buried in the crook of her neck as he pounded into her. The room was filled with the smell of sex and the sound of their skin slapping together. "Fucking love you, Kat. Fucking love being inside you. Fucking love that I'm the only one who gets to have you like this."

"I love you," she said. _Don't leave me_, the thought, begging silently. She felt her orgasm pooling in her stomach as her husband's hand tangled in her hair, pulling her head back with one hand while he held her firmly as he fucked her small frame. Her breath was coming in short bursts and she was digging her nails into his back.

"Cum for me," he said, sensing how close she was. "Cum for me, Kathryn."

And she did, hard, trembling around him. She heard him groan and felt his release fill her. They sat there for a long time, holding each other and coming down from their orgasms. Sebastian spoke first. "Happy anniversary, baby."

_

* * *

_

Twelve years ago…

Even Kathryn could see that Annette's labor was going too quickly to make it to the hospital. She told the driver to stop at the first clinic he saw. At the clinic, an ambulance was called while the doctor working there delivered Annette's baby. Kathryn stayed, even though she dearly wanted to just walk away. If the bitch had been having anyone's baby but Sebastian's, she would have left Dorothy to her own devices. But it was Sebastian's baby and she felt like she needed to protect it every bit as much as she always protected Sebastian. But Sebastian had lied to her, had taken her for a chump. He hadn't ended things with Annette until months after he told her had. Three months to be exact, since Annette 

was nearly a week overdue. So did he really deserve her loyalty? Kathryn didn't think he did, but she still couldn't just walk away. She hadn't walked away when Sebastian betrayed her with Annette, not really. She'd made sure that he'd gotten the best care in the hospital, and that he had what he needed when he was released.

After less than thirty minutes, the doctor seemed shocked that it was all over. Of course Dorothy would have a quick, easy delivery. If she ever had children, Kathryn was sure the labor would probably last for days. Another good reason to never attempt it. She watched as the doctor cleaned up Sebastian's son. He was a tiny screaming red thing with a funny looking head. Even so, she thought she saw Sebastian in him. Or maybe it was just her imagination. It wasn't right, it wasn't right that someone else would have Sebastian's baby, that she would be stuck on the outside like this.

"Tell me why," she said, just loudly enough for Annette to hear her.

Annette's eyes popped open and she stared at Kathryn, dazed and confused, for a few seconds. "Why what?"

"Why you were still seeing Sebastian after… after he and I…"

"He was lying to himself."

"What are you talking about?"

"He said that he wanted to hurt you the way you'd hurt him, but really it was just an excuse to let himself get close to you again, to be with you."

"An excuse?"

"You hurt him Kathryn. Most men wouldn't have wanted a second chance after everything that happened between you last year. He just couldn't walk away, but he couldn't admit that to himself either. So he convinced himself that it was just about revenge. I knew better though. I should have gotten out then."

"So it was all planned? He…" she couldn't bring herself to say that he seduced her. It was obvious, but she still couldn't say the words. "He played me."

"No. He played himself. He got what he really wanted in the end though. He got you to love him, to forgive him and stay with him. He's not going to hurt you. Not you."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he would have done it already, when the tabloid pictures came out. Or when you mother was arrested. When you needed him. You see, I've figured the two of you out. You really think he'd still be with you after a year if he wasn't right where he wanted to be? If he didn't really want you, his attention would have wondered by now."

The paramedics choose that moment to finally arrive and began checking Annette and the baby.

"We'll finish this later." Kathryn turned towards the door.

"Wait! Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. The only thing that I can promise you is that if you go to him before talking to me first, I'll do everything in my power to make sure you never see that baby again."

"You couldn't…"

Kathryn returned to Annette's side and leaned over to whisper in her ear so that no one else would hear. "My mother is in jail because I wanted her there. If I could do that to her, just imagine what I'd do to you, cherry. Do not fuck with me." She leaned back and watched with satisfaction as the color drained from Annette's face before walking out.

She just kept walking, not sure where she was going, until she ended up on the front steps of the clinic. Sebastian had… he'd lied to her, seduced her, swore to her that he'd never leave her and all the while that's exactly what he'd planned on doing. How could he? She had trusted him… against her better judgment, against everything that she believed and knew to be true, she had trusted him. And just look where that had gotten her. She called Blaine and told him everything. He thought she was making a huge mistake and she knew that he could be right. If this all went wrong and Sebastian learned the truth…

After hanging up with Blaine and shaking herself out of her inertia, she was done feeling sorry for herself. She pulled herself together and got back into the limo, where she fixed her makeup while the driver took her to the hospital. She quickly found Annette's room and walked right in. Annette had been dosing, but when she heard Kathryn enter, her eyes snapped open and she silently watched the other woman.

"I've made a decision," Kathryn announced without preamble. The blond was still watching her wearily. She didn't say anything, just lay there with her blue eyes following Kathryn's every movement like a trapped person watching a viper. Kathryn smiled at the mental imagery. "You have to leave New York as soon as possible, and you can't come back. If you have to travel, I want to know where you're going and when so that we can make sure that Sebastian doesn't run into you."

Annette's eyes closed briefly and she exhaled in relief. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm not doing this for you. I want you as far away from Sebastian as possible." She pulled out her checkbook and began writing.

"I don't want your money."

"Again, it's not for you. This is Sebastian's son. Even though he'll never know he exists, I still want him to have what he deserves. The best clothes, the best schools."

"Kathryn-"

"That is fucking nonnegotiable," Kathryn cut her off with a low menacing voice. She tore the check out of the book and placed it on the table next to Annette who picked it up and looked as if she were about to hyper

ventilate.

"I can't accept this."

"Do you not understand the meaning of the word nonnegotiable?" Kathryn scowled at the other woman until she finally folded the check. "What are you going to name him?"

"I was thinking Kevin."

Kathryn snorted and rolled her eyes. "That's just so… Kansas."

_

* * *

_

A/N: I want to apologize for how long this took to get to you. I have been sick and I was just too wiped out for the past week or so to do much writing. I hope that this installment was worth the wait, as I have a head cold in the middle of summer and I haven't been all that coherent at times.

_I'm glad you're not confused anymore othfan07! Everything else will make sense in a few more chapters, I promise!_

_-Angie_


	5. Four Letter Word

**Four Letter Word**

_Three days ago…_

"Son of a bitch!" Sebastian's voice roared through the house as he threw his phone against the wall. It shattered against the wall and the pieces scattered throughout his study. He took several deep breaths through his nose, trying to calm himself. He'd been trying to call Annette all day but his calls were going straight to her voicemail. He finally tried her father's number and was told by the old man's nurse that Annette and her family had left the night before in a big hurry. A call to Tuttle had brought confirmation that the four - including his son - had boarded a flight for South America.

"What the hell's your problem?" He turned around to see Kathryn standing behind him, a folder clutched in her hands and concern written all over her delicate features. Even after all these years it he was still sometimes struck by just how fragile she seemed when she was anything but.

"She took him. The _bitch_ took my son out of the fucking country, back to that hole in the wall mission." He was pacing, even though he knew that always made her irritable. But he was far too pissed off to really care right now. This whole situation had gone from bad to worse. Even though he'd never admit it to his wife, part of it was anger with himself for how badly he'd misjudged Annette. He never would have thought she'd hide a child from him, and even after learning that she had he still never would have imagined that she'd just take him and leave like this. Without a word.

Kathryn frowned as she folded her arms, the file she was holding pressed against her chest. "Did you just call precious little Annette a bitch?"

He looked at her incredulously, trying to resist the urge to shake her until her teeth rattled. "Yes! Now, _focus_ Kathryn. She left the damn country with my _fucking kid_!"

She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips as she appraised him coolly. "Stop yelling Valmont," her voice was crisp and sharp, but still never raising, still even. The perfect Upper Eastside lady's pitch. It only pissed him off more.

"I'm not yelling!" He knew that he was, but he was annoyed that his yelling was all she seemed to be thinking about at the moment. He really didn't need her to act like his mother right now.

"Yes you are. I'm not going to help you until you start using your inside voice."

He sighed. He couldn't believe that he was trying to explain to his wife that someone had taken his son out of the country and she was telling him to use his 'inside voice' as if he were one of the fucking kids. He tried to count to ten, but gave up halfway there. "Annette took _Kevin_," he was hissing now, and he nearly tripped over the boy's name – he had no words for how much he detested that name – as he literally shook with the effort to control the volume of his voice, "out of the country to Columbia. Is that better?"

Her lips turned down slightly into a frown, but not enough of one to cause wrinkles. He almost 

laughed at that. She had changed so much over the past twelve years, but she was still so _Kathryn_. "Are you sure? She's never taken him there before. She always leaves him in school when she's there."

"I just got off the phone with Blaine. I asked him to find her when I couldn't reach her. He said that she purchased four tickets on a flight to Columbia that left last night."

"Then we'll just go there," she said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Maybe it was that simple.

"And what? Kidnap him? I'm not legally his father and as long as he isn't even on American soil there's not much we can do."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "Please, Sebastian. Little things like legalities have never stopped us before."

He smirked. Not much had ever stopped them before. "You don't have to go with me."

"Of course I don't. But I want to. Ann agreed not to take him to the mission with her. She's never done it before, and I'd like to hear her explain why she would do it now. Besides, someone has to keep you on task."

He shook his head. "I can't believe that the two of you have been in contact all these years and that one or both of you aren't dead by now."

Kathryn laughed. "If anyone would have ended up dead, it would have been Dorothy. Or have you forgotten who you married," she challenged with a raised eyebrow.

"Baby," he said softly as he pulled her into his arms, "there's not a chance that I'll forget what a completely wicked bitch you are."

"Good," she said cheerfully, smiling up at him, before pushing him away. "Don't just stand there Valmont. Make sure the jet's fueled and ready to go. I'll start packing and call Robin."

"What about work?"

"We'll be back by Monday. And if we're not, I'm sure the company can survive without me for one or two days."

That was his first big mistake, he would realize when he looked back on it. Letting her go.

_

* * *

_

Twelve Years Earlier…

"Princess! How's the romantic getaway going? Since you're calling me and not at the bottom of the ocean, I take it you're secret remains undiscovered."

Kathryn rolled her eyes but chose to ignore Blain's barb, which was delivered in an overly cheerful tone. "I need to say it," she said without preamble. She knew that he would understand what she was talking about. "The longer I wait the more like a total wimp I feel."

There was a heavy sigh. "Then say it." He made it sound like the simplest thing in the world. If only it were.

"He'll expect more. A commitment. You know Sebastian. Underneath that thick layer of perversion and amorality is a boy scout dying to get out." There was deep, throaty laughter at the other end. Okay, so 'boy scout' was a bit of an exaggeration. But there was a part of Sebastian that longed to be decent or at least more decent then what they were. Even if no one else knew it, Kathryn and Blain did.

"You want that from him," he finally said when he was finished laughing. "Fair's fair sweetheart."

"I do not want a commitment."

"Do you want him to sleep with other women?"

Kathryn sniffed and answered hesitantly. "No."

"Other men?"

"In your dreams."

"Definitely," he said a little breathlessly, and she could practically hear the wistful smile through the phone. "Do you want him around for the next ten, twenty years?"

Another long pause. "Yes."

"Do you think about other people when his screwing your evil brains out?"

"Not usually." _Never_.

"I see. You just want exclusive sex for a couple of decades and, after almost a year of fucking the same guy, aren't looking for greener pastures. Sounds nothing like a commitment to me."

Kathryn sighed. "Maybe I should just run now."

"If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. That's no way to live. Of course, if he finds out what you've been up to, the rest of your life might not be that long."

"Fuck you."

"Sorry, you're not my type."

She spared him a small laugh at that. "Your loss."

"I'm sure," he said in a tone that clearly said that he wasn't at all. "Go ahead and say it. It's like ripping off a bandage. It always hurts less after the first time. Think of it as just another four letter word."

"Have you ever done it?"

"Told someone? Once. But I just wanted to get into his boxers."

"Did it work?"

"Like a charm."

She snorted and shook her head. "You may be a queer, but you are still such a guy Blaine."

He laughed softly. "I know, princess. We can't all be perfect."

Sebastian pulled himself up onto the deck of their bungalow, his mind still one some of the gorgeous fish he'd seen while scuba diving. Even though he loved Kathryn, and enjoyed her company, they both got irritable if they were together for too long without at least a short break. They were the kind of creatures who needed their space occasionally. Being a man who always appreciated beauty – whether it was women, art or nature – wanted to get a look at the marine life, and while Kathryn enjoyed a good swim, scuba diving wasn't exactly her thing. He stretched his sore muscles and looked around. They only had a week left, then it was back to the real world. Back to school, back to whatever this was he had with Kathryn. He wasn't sure exactly what to call it. It went way beyond just damn good sex, though it was definitely that. They were more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. They'd always been more than that. But how much more?

He shook his head as if to free himself of the thoughts. Planning his life out more than a few weeks ahead had never been his style and he really didn't want to start now. Kathryn had 

always been the planner, the one who mapped things out years in advance. He just needed to enjoy things here and now, stop thinking about tomorrow. With great effort he buried his sudden irrational desire for something permanent between him and his ex stepsister, choosing to appreciate his surroundings instead. Bora Bora really was amazing, and he was glad that Kathryn had 'abducted' him. It definitely beat walking out on him, or leaving him dead by the side of an abandoned road. There had been a couple of times during the limo drive when he'd thought the latter might be her plan. But that was during the first five minutes, when he was actually capable of rational thought, let alone paranoia. They had kept each other extremely… amused during the drive. He smiled at the memory as he pulled himself out of the water and onto the deck of their bungalow.

The first thing that he noticed was that there wasn't much light coming from the windows. He dried off his upper body with the towel that he'd left there before wrapping it loosely around his waist, wondering if she were asleep. He opened the door to find Kathryn sitting at a formally set table wearing nothing but a bikini and wrap so sheer he could probably read through it tied around her waist. The candle light made her seem to glow. It was the most erotic thing he could ever remember seeing. And he'd seen some pretty damned erotic things, he thought with a slight smile. Nearby was one of the rolling room service carts laden with a verity of fruits and three different chocolate fondues… white, milk and dark.

"Hungry," she asked, her voice husky and full of innuendo, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Suddenly his mind was full of all sorts of things he'd like to see that mouth doing.

"Starving," he said with a sexy smirk as he came to the table and sat across from her. His posture was casual, even though all he wanted was to pick her up and carry her to the bed. Hold her down, do some very dirty things to her delectable body.

She stood slowly and walked around the table to stand beside him. She looked down at him for a second, running her hand through his hair, before straddling his lap and taking his face in her hands. "There's something important that I have to tell you, Sebastian."

He raised an eyebrow as he stroked her thighs. It usually wasn't a good thing when Kathryn got this serious. "I'm all ears, Kat."

She was silent for a few moments, staring into his eyes. Even though he knew she hated being pushed, that wasn't what kept him silent. He'd pushed her plenty of times when leaving her alone would be the more prudent choice. Right now, though, he was afraid. Afraid that she was going to say that she couldn't trust him again, that when they got back home they were done. He clung to her, digging his strong fingers into her soft skin. He knew it was probably causing her some discomfort, but he couldn't help it. Besides, physical discomfort was often part of their sex play anyway. They'd bruised each other, scratched and bitten each other. Kathryn had even drawn blood a time or two.

Finally, after a thousand years of staring into his eyes, she took a deep breath. "I love you, 

Sebastian." It came out sounding a little flat and rushed, like one long word, and she winced immediately afterwards.

He blinked at her in confusion for a few seconds and then slowly smiled in comprehension. He felt her small body trembling. "I know… but I swear I never thought I'd hear you actually say it."

She frowned at him, clearly not expecting his reaction. "Maybe I won't say it again." She tried to get up and he pulled her back down, pressing his rapidly hardening cock against her.

"You don't feel relieved now that you finally spit it out," he asked, his voice low and seductive. He knew that she'd make him work a little for it now, to get between her legs. But that was fine with him. He enjoyed it when he had to seduce her. It fulfilled his need for a challenge. Kathryn was a contradiction. She was a puzzle that he knew better then he knew himself, yet he was always trying to solve her. That was probably what he loved most about her.

"A little," she admitted, but that was obviously as far as she could go.

"The first time's the hardest," he said sympathetically. If he hadn't blurted it out to Tiffany like a dope, he probably wouldn't have gotten around to saying it yet either. "Especially for us. It's like admitting someone's power over us." His hands were unhooking her bikini top almost of their own volition. He let them do their work, relieving her of the skimpy patches of fabric and gazed adoringly at her body. He wasn't a breast man, though he could certainly understand the impulse. He actually had no one favorite part of a woman's body. He enjoyed the entire thing. He leaned forward and kissed the valley between her breasts.

He felt her shift on his lap and he moaned softly. "I love you, Kathryn. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be gentle," he looked up at her with a wicked smile as he stood up, still holding her thighs. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled his head back sharply by his hair. Then her mouth was on his, swallowing his gasp, her tongue demanding entrance.

She pulled away, her lips kiss swollen, her eyes dark with lust. "I don't recall ever asking for gentle, Valmont."

"Glad to see we're on the same page," he said as he pushed the cart out of the way and pressed her against the wall.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Have you left New York yet," Kathryn asked without so much as a greeting.

There was a sigh on the other end. "Just got to the apartment about an hour ago."

"Good. Remember our agreement."

"How could I forget?"

"Don't make me regret this, Kansas. I swear there will be hell to pay if you do." Kathryn hung up the phone without waiting for a reply.

She looked through the window of the bungalow at Sebastian sleeping peacefully in the European king sized bed. He was so beautiful, and he was all hers. This scheme with Annette had to work out. There was no way that Kathryn could compete with a baby, she knew that. Sebastian still loved Annette, she knew that for sure even though she believed him when he said that it wasn't close to what he felt for her. But add a baby to that? And with the way he grew up, she knew that he would never turn his back on his own son. The image of the perfect family that he carried around in his head, the one he never admitted having even to himself, would never let him just walk away. She could be wrong, but she didn't have the courage to take the chance. If she lost him, what would she do? Marry some man who could never hold a candle to him? Become the perfect Upper Eastside wife? That had been what she wanted once upon a time, but it wasn't any more. She still liked being adored and admired, but she didn't need it the way she once had and she knew that she would never be satisfied with what she had wanted before.

She sighed and crept back into the room. She closed the blinds and slipped off her robe before climbing into bed. Sebastian seemed to sense her presence and moved closer to her with a contented sigh. She smiled and nestled herself against his side before drifting off to sleep.

_

* * *

_

A/N: I'm so glad you enjoyed the last update,

_**Lacey**__. Yes, I am of the opinion that they're totally meant to be too._

_LOL… welcome back to my twisted imagination, __**fab84**__. I won't keep you waiting too long to reveal the war zone thing. You may even be able to begin figuring it out in this chapter…_

_This chapter didn't come easy. I knew where I wanted to go with it… It just seemed like it was a trial trying to get there. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoy it._

_-Angie_


	6. Point of No Return

**Point of no Return**

_Two days ago…_

Columbia was hot. And humid. It was everything Sebastian hated about summer in New York times ten. The country had once been the cocain mecca of the world, and one of the most dangerous places to visit. It had been cleaned up substantially sinces then and was no longer run by drug cartels, but that didn't improve the weather in the least. The only upside was that it kept his beautiful wife scantily clad.

Latter on when Sebastian tried to pinpoint the moment that everything went wrong, he wouldn't be able to. Because really there were just so many damn good candidates. But there was one moment that stood out in his memory when he made the one decision that sent everything really and truly straight to fucking hell. It was when his editor called. They were just about to go to print with his latest book and a whole damn page was missing from the manuscript. How could they be missing a whole page? More importantly, how could that have gone unnoticed until now? Unless one of the idiot editors had erased the damn thing. Didn't they have backups? Apparently not since she wanted him to email his working copy so they could find it. Only problem was they were in Columbia and the WiFi in the room had gone down. He'd have to go down to the business center or, worse, if all the internet in the hotel was down go to another location altogether before he'd be able to do that.

"I have to be somewhere, Kim. It'll have to wait."

He looked up to see Kathryn shaking her head at him.

"Just one sec," he said to his agent before placing the phone against his chest to see what his wife wanted.

"I can go while you stay here and do what you need to do. You can catch up later if you need to come."

"What are you going to do?"

"I know how to handle Annette. And no I'm not going to hurt her. We've come to an understanding over the years."

Of course Sebastian was suspicious. This was Kathryn after all. And she was volunteering to go speak to someone that last time he checked she hated. But it was obvious that things had changed between the two women during the time they were hiding their secret from him. What was the worst thing that could happen? He shrugged. "Okay. Make sure you take your phone and the bodyguards. South America is the kidnapping capitol of the world."

She kissed him, her fingers on his scalp. "I'll take some of them. I'm not leaving you here unprotected."

"Most," he said insistently, because he knew he wouldn't get her to take them all. He'd learned over the years when it was just futile to argue.

She sighed. "Fine. I'll take most of them."

* * *

"Kathryn? What are you doing here?" Annette was a blonde blue-eyed calm in the center of an organized storm of people.

"I might ask you the same thing."

"We have an emergency I needed to take care of."

"Where's Kevin."

"I sent him back to school. I told you I wouldn't bring him here and I haven't."

"So… he wasn't here?"

"He flew to Columbia with us. But we put him and Sara on the next flight to Switzerland. I just needed the extra time to talk to him, try to ease into the whole 'you have another father' thing."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because Sebastian wasn't answering my calls, and the last time I talked to you, you told me to fuck off and hung up on me. I figured I'd let the two of you cool off and try again when I get back to the States in a week. I didn't think you'd follow me here."

"Sebastian was freaking out. And I was a little pissed too. We thought you'd pulled a disappearing act."

Annette snorted. "Right. Because the two of you aren't the most persistent people I've ever seen and I could really hope to get away from you."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Sarcasm. I must really be rubbing off on you. What are you doing anyway?"

"Moving away from the border. We were helping people who came over from Venezuela too, but the guerrillas are getting restless."

"Guerrillas?" Kathryn took a closer look around her. The scurrying people were packing.

"Farq, sponsored by our dear friends in the Venezuelan government. They've been raiding places along the border and they're headed this way. So, this may not have been the best time to drop in for a visit."

There was a loud explosion in the distance, but close enough that they felt the ground shake. "What the hell was that?"

"Trouble." Kathryn looked at Annette, who had gone pale. Her normally calm blue eyes were wide and dark with fear.

_

* * *

_

Eleven years ago…

Sebastian smirked to himself when he thought about how much had changed in his life, and how much had remained the same. He'd done monogamy before, with Annette, but never for this long and because he didn't want a future without Kathryn he knew that he would have to get used to it. Not that Kathryn wasn't more than enough to keep his interest. He was just used to fucking whoever drew his interest almost since he'd hit puberty. It was a very strong habit to break.

Kathryn was still his principle obsession and no matter how well he came to know her body, or how used to hearing her say that she loved him he grew, that obsession simply got stronger and deeper until eventually it was nothing like obsession at all. At least not what he considered the unhealthy kind, the kind that was like madness and felt like it would consume him whole. The taste and texture of his feelings changed subtly. Yet they were still them. He supposed they couldn't be anything else, really, and he didn't want them to be. He didn't want all Kathryn's sharp edges gone, all of her prickliness to disappear. After all, only she could know all there was to know about him and still love him without trying to make him someone else.

He turned the thoughts over and over in his mind as he lay in bed one Saturday. It was late morning and neither he nor Kathryn had classes. He stretched to loosen his stiff muscles and reached for the pad of paper near his bed and his glasses.

"What are you doing?"

He smiled at the beautiful lump in the bed next to him. "Writing."

"You're not still writing about our fucking are you?"

He laughed, not mocking. Just a genuine laugh. "Of course I am. Our fucking is still noteworthy. But right now I'm not. I have an idea I want to put down on paper."

She stretched languidly, like a cat sunning itself, her hands over her head, back arching and the sheet falling off one breast. He watched her transfixed, the pad of paper on his lap forgotten. He pulled the sheet away completely, exposing her body. She laughed, sleep making her voice deeper and more throaty than usual. "I thought you were writing." She looked up at him with eyes that were still heavy with sleep but dark with passion, hands still over her head. Suddenly he had a vision of holding them there while he fucked her into the mattress. Just like that he was hard and aching with need.

He traced a finger down her body, starting at her inviting lips, still swollen from the wonderful things it had been occupied with the night before, and ending at her upper thigh. "Hmmm," he hummed absently as he tossed the pad and pen back onto the nightstand. "I was, now I'm not." He scratched her 

inner thigh with a well manicured nail and watched her arch up into his touch. He bent over and kissed her thigh. He licked at it, tasting her, so close to her pussy that he could smell how wet she was getting. Smiling at her moans he bit down on the tender flesh, marking her. She belonged to him just like he belonged to her. He soothed the mark he made with his tongue before repositioning himself so he could pull one of her legs over his torso and used the thigh of the other as a pillow as he began eating her, teasing her with his tongue at first.

"Stop teasing you bast- oh fuck!"

He watched her face as he brought her quickly to an orgasm. He moved up along her body to kiss her, deep and slow, sharing her taste. He moaned into her mouth when she wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing them together. "You're so beautiful when you cum. Almost as beautiful as you are when you're sucking my cock," he said softly when he pulled away just enough to speak, his lips still grazing hers. He slid inside her and grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head. His eyes slid closed for a second, caught somewhere between now and then. "Do you know how damn sexy that is? Your lips stretched around me. Looking up at me while I fuck your mouth. Feeling your throat try to swallow me. Coming down your throat, watching you swallow. Every. Drop."

He kissed her again, deep and hard, his tongue fucking into her mouth, mimicking what his cock was doing. He groaned and pulled back when he felt her tighten, trying to milk him. "Do I feel good, Sebastian? Wrapped around you all wet, hot and tight?"

He closed his eyes and leaned his cheek against her forehead, enjoying the feel of her body underneath him. "So good, baby. So fucking good."

* * *

"Are you doing anything for dinner?" He tried to sound casual. He always thought she'd tell him if she had other plans, but he didn't want to assume. He didn't want to take her, take this, for granted. Even though she seemed too cold and untouchable to keep, most men wanted her. Hell, most women, even straight women, wanted her. It was sort of like the librarian thing. Most men fantasized about bending her over a stack of books, not bringing her home to mother.

"No. Why?"

"I want to take you out tonight."

She pursed her lips. "I didn't forget some anniversary or special occasion, did I?"

He laughed. She was much better at keeping up with that sort of shit then he was. "No. Can't I just take my girl out for dinner occasionally?"

"Your girl, huh," she asked, a small smile curling the corner of those inviting lips.

"Yes," he said kissing her lips. "Always." He kissed her neck.

* * *

He couldn't believe how nervous he was. Of course he was nervous, he told himself. He was possibly about to set himself up for public humiliation. He looked across the table at Kathryn. They were in a cozy alcove at the resturant, but people could still see them if they looked. Shwas stunning in a deep purple gown that set off her big green eyes just right. Her hair, make-up, jewelry, everything, just perfect. She looked like something out of a classic movie. She was watching him warily.

"Sebastian, what's going on?" Her voice was soft almost to the point of gentle. The way it was whenever she was trying to sooth him in those times when he was too high strung.

He smiled. It was now or never. "Just this," he said as he smoothly slid out of the seat and onto his knees. He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and held it out like an offering to an angry god. "I know this is a little conventional for us. But… I love you and I can't imagine going a single day without you in my life. I want to make this… what we have permanent. Will you marry me?" He opened the box to reveal a ring that was a reset of his great grandmother's diamonds. The new setting looked antique.

For one horrifying moment, Kathryn was silent as she started first at him, then at the ring and then back at him. In those few seconds, he wished he could take everything back, rewind, undo it. Her hand went to her mouth and pressed against her lips. "Yes," she said hoarsely as she tried not to cry. "Yes, I'll marry you."

Relief flooded through him and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his face into her stomach.

"Sebastian, you do realize that we're in public," she hissed quietly, but she sounded like she was on the verge of laughter.

He laughed against her stomach. "I don't care. My heart almost stopped when you didn't say yes right away."

"How could you think I wouldn't say yes?"

He pulled away and looked up at her. "I never want to take anything about you, about us, for granted." He slid the ring on her finger. It almost fit, but he always underestimated just how tiny her hands were. He kissed the back of her hand, then turned it over and kissed the palm.

She leaned forward and kissed his lips. "I love you, Sebastian Valmont."


End file.
